Do you believe in miracles? Well, I do. I have as long as I remember. There are different types though. There are the kind like I had physically when my heart defied the doctor's prognosis and recovered. And then there are the type that I have experienced over the last month...the "hard to name" type.
It all began right before I went into the hospital. I swear I almost died. Never in my life have I felt that horrible and then the one particular afternoon in the hospital, right before they started the IV for spinal meningitis...my husband had just left and the doctor suddenly walked in, perfect timing because I started shaking and shivering and vomiting the most horrible stuff....enough said but it was horrible... And then my neck and jaw became stiff and the doctor ran out and called the neurologist back. They put me on the IV and the next day I was improving dramatically. It started as a relatively simple dental procedure, developed into a blood infection and then went to my brain and spinal cord as spinal meningitis-that's what I think and that is what the doctor in charge of me thought.
The amazing part (and the scary part) was the time preceding the actual episode of seeing the dark figure (See blog titled Grim Reaper). I had a premonition that I had a choice to make. This could be it and I could die or I could fight. I fought...of course...I have children to raise, a husband to love, parents to love and care for as they become older....so much to do and see.
Since then I have felt a change. I see things more clearly, situations and people. And people have been drawn to me. Mothers with babies ask me to actually hold their babies while they change their toddlers and one even asked me to watch her two year old while she took her four year old to the bathroom! Babies are so beautiful and I dream about them. I believe more than ever that they are our primary link with God and heaven. Other things, too, like this town doesn't seem so bad any more, even quaint in a way. And life seems so much brighter and more promising.
And then there is the scary side:
The night before last I could not sleep. I took tylenol PM but two hours later I still could not sleep. Then I heard our dog barking from the distance and something that sounded like a body shoving against our front door (we sleep in a room right beside it). I thought "no way" and the dog stopped barking and the sound never came back. I drifted off and was awakened by the sound again, only louder and then our dog barking again, chasing something around the house. My sweet husband put on his beach shoes and grabbed a broom handle and went running outside and around the house (wrong way but he didn't know :) ) but he saw nothing. He thinks it was the cat but there is no way our cat (who is still a kitten) could make that kind of noise.
Last night I had a horrible nightmare, one I do not wish to share or remember the details of, but it scared me enough to get up and check the door locks and one was not locked! It's our temperamental old door and I couldn't get it to work very well. I went back to sleep and had worse nightmares but this time it was about religion. There was a lesson in it and I got it and it's given me another perspective on a situation in my life that I haven't known how to deal with. Now I know. And when I forget I will read this blog again.
Quote: If you always do what you've always done-you'll always get what you've always gotten.
Right now it is way too early to try to figure out who said it originally.
I know this seems jumbled and confusing but honestly, I wrote it hurriedly so I wouldn't forget.
