Some weeks are "not so easy" :)

The past week was really tough! A week ago today all was fine and well and wonderful in the world and then that night, in the middle of the night, Rachel started running a high fever and it didn't stop until Tuesday. It was up and down and controllable but all she wanted was "my mommy". And that would be ME. So I basically spent every single day as her body pillow. Of course I got a few naps in and I loved cuddling with her but I did feel frustrated....I can't seem to get much done around here. Then the guilt of thinking that. I have seven good hearted, sweet, healthy, smart and beautiful children and I know all too well how fast they grow. So I kept reminding myself that "this too shall pass" when I was dwelling on what wasn't getting done and Randy even said "You are doing a lot of loving". It took me a while to recover from the shock of that. That's not a typical Randy statement. It's usually "chill out" or "relax". LOL!

Anyway, so Rachel appears to be fully recovered...pray, well vibes, knock on wood, cross fingers, anything that might possibly help! Back to prom dress shopping for Emily and me today. Hopefully we will finally find "the dress".

So what is very interesting to me is that Emily's prom date's mother invited Emily over to their house the other night to shoot pool and talk. She wanted to make sure Emily felt like we were okay with Emily going with someone who is black to the prom. His mother said she was fine with it as long as her son is happy and that is completely how I feel. I think that was very nice of his mother to be concerned but I have a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why??? Because her date was scared to meet me. He thought I wouldn't like him because of his SKIN COLOR!!!! OMGosh!!! There are a few reasons why I would not like someone to date my daughter but that isn't even in the running. Alcoholism, drug addiction and pure meanness are the only ones I can think of at the moment.

He seems like such a wonderful person! But I felt sick after he left because he felt that way and what is worse is around here he has good reason. Supposedly there are a lot of racist people here. And I know it to be true, unfortunately. One time, right after my divorce, a guy asked me out. This guy was younger than I am, and incredibly gorgeous. We all played volleyball together. All of the other women were just going crazy over him and while I was definitely attracted, I didn't act like an idiot about it. Anyway, he and I talked for a long time one day, on his initiative. But during that conversation he made a racist comment. That was it. I felt nothing but nauseated toward him after that. What a shame to be so narrow-minded...no narrow-minded isn't it...stupid is a more applicable term for that way of thinking. Anyway, he asked the kids about me and even tried to find me (went some place and asked some friends) but I wanted NOTHING to do with him after that.

I will touch on this again another time. Right now I am still reeling from the emotions of the above paragraphs.

I have some other subjects I would like to cover in the future blogs....and for myself I will write a reminder....one is maternal feelings and oops, I already forgot the other one! LOL!